Dirty Little Secrets
by Koujaku
Summary: Slowly the Titan’s secrets are being reveled. But once all masks are removed and Titans finally know everything about each other, will the still stay together or will this be the one thing that tears them apart.
1. Case 1: Robin

I don't really know how I came up with this idea, but I did. Okay it will not only be about Robin but about Star and the others, about their dirty little secrets, things that they try and keep to themselves. Okay so it mainly about there secrets and how they cope.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titians (duh)  
  
Dirty Little Secrets  
  
Case One: Robin  
  
I carefully held the knife in my hand and pressed it against the naked flesh of my thigh. I watched as the knife bite into my skin drawing the warm sticky substance that kept me alive. I lifted the knife from my skin and just watched the blood run down my thigh, in careful streams, they looked like tear drop almost.  
I didn't know how it really all started; I would have to say just after my parents died I had found my self-looking for some sort of release. I had started cutting my wrist, it was wonderful how it just seemed to make everything go away, a way for me to let it all out. But it was not long after that I found that I had cut too deep, and was going to slowly bleed to death. Bruce however came in just in time to save me, but it also meant he knew about my dirty little secret.  
At first I was scared of how he would react, would he think me a freak? But he didn't. He took me to help, and would always ask if I was all right. That however only lasted a few months, and then he thought me cured. I thought that too.  
I wasn't, once Slade came along I found myself looking for that release, even more now. Sure I knew I could have gone to Cy or Beast boy for help, I could have even gone to Raven. I could have gone to anyone, but Star. No she was to innocent to simple-minded, it would scare her. No matter none of them will know.  
"Robin are you asleep?" I herd Star voice and froze, don't let her come in please. Don't let her come in and see the blood, see me sitting here with this bloody knife in my hand. Don't let her find out about my dirty little secret please. I waited; I waited for her to walk to leave me alone.. Thank the gods she's walking away.  
I let out a breath I did not know I was holding, and smiled. She will not know not today I cannot ever let her know.  
I quickly wrapped the wounds and walked out to where my team mater where.  
"Hey guys." I said cheerfully, if only they knew if only they knew.  
"Hey." Cyborg and Beast Boy said in unison.  
"Oh Robin, I had thought you to be asleep. Are you alright you where in your room alone for quite a long time." Star said with a concerned look on her face.  
"I'm fine don't worry, I just dozed off that's all." My lie seemed to satisfy Star and she walked away.  
I looked the room and knew that no one knew, and that made me happy. It made me happy that I had something all my own. Something that was just mine and only mine. It may be a stupid thing, something that most people would say that I had a sick mind. But it was mine!  
  
A/N: Okay there is chapter one, I know it was short, but there will be more! Next chapter shall be Star's dirty little secret. Please R/R and don't kill me! 


	2. Case 2: Starfire

A/N: Hehe, the second chapter. Anyways hmm I shall try to update this story at least once a week! Yeah anyways I always thank my reviewers in my second chapter, so here I go: Zack Anderson: Hehe thanks for the review your ideas are very good, I may use some (if not in this chapter then later on) Anyways thankies for the review. Katarzi the Stray: Hmmm intrusting, reminds me of Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornto, scary couple. Yes yes, maybe it shall happen Raven's Faithful Sidekick: Glad you liked it. I can guess that you are a fan of Rave, who will actually play a big part in this story. Hiei-Fan: Wee thank you, not the first reviewer, but oh well. Anyways I am trying to update now so that you can read it tomorrow. SilverStarFox: Do you really think its dark that makes me happy! Brie: Don't worry he's not suicidal. at least not at this point in time. that wasn't to reassuring was it. OmegaPirate: Yes it was sick wasn't it, but hey that's what I was aiming for, so thanks! Okay well thanks again, here I go:  
  
Dirty Little Secrets  
  
Case 2: Starfire  
  
I carefully walked in to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I wanted to be perfect for him.  
It was only a few weeks ago what Robin thought was 'hot', which I found was a word that would mean someone was desirable to the eye. The woman that he saw as 'hot' where very small around the middle, very curvy, nice smiles, all the things I was not. So I took the picture and decided I would try and look like her.  
I first tried to make my middle smaller, but not sure how. On Tamaran, I had never found myself with this kind of problem, but here on earth it seems they are concerned more with the outside of a person then what they really are like. But no matter, I thought would be easy, but I was wrong.  
I at first just tried to eat less, but that made my friends worried, although I did not understand why. So I tried to hide what I was doing, that did not work either. It was not until I found this thing, I am not sure if the earth word for them, in one of those shiny books, with pictures of girls and colorful writing (A/N: A magazine) the writing talked about things called 'eating disorders' although I did not really understand what they said, I understood that they helped lose weight and were somehow wrong. I did not see what was wrong with them, so I tried them out.  
In the writing it said girls would take their fingers push them to the back of the throat to make what they ate to come back up, to throw up. I tried this, although it was very gross, I found that worked. No one knew, and I knew it was working. Just yesterday Robin said I was looking skinny, he also asked if I was feeling well. I guess know that I am getting more hot, he becomes more concerned with me.  
I also tried to make other parts of me more desirable, this girl often wore something very similar to war paint or various parts of there face. Robin also seemed to like it, many earth girl did it. So I asked raven if she knew about this war paint, she told me it was called make up. She also told me I could buy it at a place called a drug store. I did not understand why make up was sold at a drug store if it was not a drug, but when I told this to Raven she said I was just being silly.  
So Raven took me to this drug store and a bought this make up. It was all quite confusing, the blush, was only to be worn on the checks, and could not be eaten. Although the lipstick smelled good, and when I licked it tasted well, I could not eat it either. Earth customs are very strange. So after I got my self make upped, I went out to Show robin, but he was in his room again, and would not answer.  
When I walked out to where Beast Boy and Cyborg where playing there games on video, the looked at me and laughed.  
"Star what did you do to you face!" Beats boy said, it hurt me deeply.  
" I do not see what so funny, I only make uped my self!" I quickly walked away and locked myself in the bathroom.  
I did not under stand what I had did wrong. I put the lipstick on my lips, the blush on my cheeks the eye shadow on my eyes. They where all very nice colors, a nice bright pink and purple, I though they looked okay, but if Beast boy and Cyborg laughed, maybe robin would to.  
I made a face at the girl in the mirror; I did not wish to be her anymore. I wanted to be wonderful and beautiful. I wanted Robin to tell me I was hot. I wanted Robin, to be mine, forever. But I will never get him if I looked like this, never.  
I scrubbed my face until it was red and hurting, and looked in the mirror again. The person I saw, I still hated..  
  
A/N: What am I doing to the Teen Titans! Well, its not good what ever it is. Next Chapter shall be beast boy, what do I have planed for him, I do not know. But maybe you can help! Post suggestions, if you want. I will try to make the chapter longer, the story will really get going after I am done with all the secrets! Please Review! 


	3. Case 3: Beast Boy

A/N: Thanks to EviLKnieveL1218 for sending me that email (do you have a name on ff.net?) It was very useful in this chapter, I also looked into beast boy past, something I did not do for star nor robin. I am typing this why watching Carnival on HBO (I love that show). Anyways hope you like Beast Boys dirty little secret! Oh yeah thanks to everyone who review, I would make it personal, but I only do that in the second chapter of my stories!  
  
Dirty Little Secrets  
  
Case 3: Beast Boy  
  
A single tear made its way down my check; it was soon to be followed by others. I had once again locked my self in my room; memories of the past coming back and hitting me full force.  
Yes it felt like yesterday, when I was just a normal happy with my parent, but it all change in an instance. I had become infected with a rare tropical disease that was believed to only spare animals. I didn't know much about it at that time, just that it scared them. I remember them using that machine on me I didn't like it much. That's when it all happened.  
My skin had become green, not one could explain it. My parent however didn't care they where just happy I was alive. Then I found out about my other mutation. When a snake threatened my mother I was afraid. It all happened so quickly I become small and furry, and attacked the snake. I had saved her, I was so happy. It made me so confident that I could save them from anything, just anything. But I was so wrong, so very wrong.  
Several years on a boat trip gone terribly wrong, they died. I was heartbroken, ripped apart by guilt. I could have saved them I could have prevented it! Its my fault, all my fault! I knew it was.  
My grief however I did not stop there, no it continued on. I had discovered more about my mutation, and decided to us it to save people. I went out and joined The Doom Patrol. They where like family to me I loved them all, I felt like that maybe with them I could somehow cure the guilt from my parents deaths, again I was wrong. They where all killed, everyone, once again it was my entire fault. Fresh was that pain of their death and my parent's death.  
Desperate for a way to try and get ride of this guilt, this guilt that's constantly tore at my heart. I need to find a way to save people, with other people, or I would go mad. Then I found them, The Teen Titans.  
However I felt a new pain when I joined them, insecurity. They where all so good at what they did. Robin with his fighting, cyborg and his strength, raven with her spells and mental power, and Star with her alien powers. They didn't need me, I was just someone there too make them laugh, like a jester in a court.  
Yes humor, what a wonderful mask to hide behind. They would never guess what little old beast boy really thought deep down behind closed doors. They didn't know of my pain, my guilt, my fears.  
Yes fears biggest of all were losing Raven. Yes I loved her, I wanted to grab her and hold her in my arms. I wanted to be able to protect her from every little thing, but whenever I get to close someone, I lost them.  
So I hide behind my mask and never showed my true feelings that would only hurt them. Hey maybe they would get rid of me if they found out I wasn't that all happy guy. So I hide and I will always hide.  
  
A/N: Phwee! Poor beast boy! And some of that was true anyways Cyborg is next! I know there are many of you out there who are waiting for Raven, just saving the best last.hehehe. Anyways so what do you think of this chapter hhhmmmm? And what is cy's secret? Any suggestions 


	4. Case 4: Cyborg

A/N: Sorry for not updating in a long time, school has been keeping me busy. Anyways this chapter is going to be really short and crappy because I didn't find much on cyborg, so I tried my best. Well hmmm oh yes for ravens chapter which is next, it will take long. I wanna make it good, because she is going to play a big part in this story. Oh yes I changed my name from chessy cat to koujaku because chessy cat sounded to boring.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own teen titans, but if I did pink elephants attack.  
  
Case 4: Cyborg  
  
I looked in the mirror the light reflecting off of my cold metallic parts, they where almost invincible, strong durable, these where things that every super hero would want.  
But did I want them, not any more. Sure when I first got into the teen titans I was thankful for this body, I doubt I would have gotten in other wise. But now after being in the teen titans, I hate this body. I mean how could I not, just seeing robin, raven, star or beast boy with their delicate movements, it was so beautiful. With my big heavy body I couldn't do half of the things that they do. I envied that; I envied that more then anything. I envied being able to touch something and really feel it. I envied being able to feel my own warm skin. But there's nothing I could do to change that.  
But the thing I hated most about this body is I could never cerate another living thing with it. Sure I could kill things with it, but I am totally unable to give life. I can never have a child that is of my flesh and blood. Yeah I could adopt, probably will. But what if I hurt them with these massive hands, or crush them, just plainly kill them. I would not be able to live with myself if I did that.  
Yeah that's another thing I hate about myself, hurting people. I mean at times I feel like more of a hazard then help. I mean a few I had already stepped on Robin's foot; he could fight for a month. He told me not to worry about it but I did. It was like never ending guilt, what if I hurt one of them again, but this time I put them out forever. Then I would really hate myself.  
Not that I already did. Not only did I hate this body, I hated me. I knew I used this body to hide behind. I used it as a mask. I used it to make it seem that I was someone big in tuff. When deep deep down I was just a sniveling coward hoping that nobody would find this out. Hoping that nobody would find I was only worth something because of this body, and other than that I was worthless.  
Yeah that's me, just a worthless hunk of metal.  
  
A/N: Seee I told you it would be short and crappy. But don't worry Raven chapter will be better, I hope. Well anyways please R/R, tell me what you think Raven's secret may be. 


	5. Case 5: Raven

A/N: this was inspired by a documentary on discovery health, it was the spark of inspiration I needed, I really hope this is good enough because that was why I took so long so that this would be good. I am so sorry for not updating in two months and about 15 days so sorry! I thank you all for reading and you patience(for my lack of spelling and grammatical skills)! Well I hope you enjoy Raven's chapter.on with the show.  
  
Dirty Little Secrets  
  
Case 5: Raven  
  
I walked through the mall swiftly I had cleverly disguised myself in clothes that many of the teens in the malls dressed in, I needed to blend no one could see me, no could know who I was.  
  
The feelings that coursed through my body where so different from those that I had always thought I could control, the closest words to describe these strange feeling would be excitement, anxiety, really there was no word that had been created that I could use to talk about these feelings. There was one way I could rid myself of these, it was not through meditation, no it was through stealing.  
  
Oh it was stealing anything, nothing I every needed just something, I needed that high that came with the accomplishment of succeeding in a steal; I have never once been caught.  
  
Being caught scared me, if they found out a Titan, someone who should be keeping the city safe from thieves, was stealing herself, I'm sure I would be kicked off, worst of all I could be hated, gods I would not be able to survive if I knew that beast boy hated me. So I would go alone and tell the others I was in my room.  
  
I felt like I was going to explode soon if I did not steal, I needed to so it now, so I ran into the nearest store and went down the aisles. I had walked into a toy store, it was pretty busy with kids begging their parents to buy them some toy that would please them for minutes and then would be neglected, but I had no time for thinking of them. I made my way to the back of the store which was empty of people, I looked around, making it seem I was looking at the merchandise but I was looking for cameras, there were none. I grabbed a small plush doll in the shape of a cat and stuffed it in my purse. My heart beat widely as I walked carefully to the door. What if I was caught? What if someone saw me? I hated this part.  
  
It wasn't until I burst through the door of the toy store did I feel like I could breath once again. I did it, the feelings are gone and I can go on with my life that is until I am once again attacked by this feeling. I sighed wishing that I was not bond to such a tiresome task, but it is my own fault.  
  
I made my way back to the titan tower, but not before I changed back to my regular garb so as not to raise any suspicion. I walked through the door and smacked into Beast Boy.  
  
"Hey Raven! Where have you been?" He asked in his typical happy voice.  
  
" I was out." I kept my voice monotone, keeping my emotions for him at bay. I then pushed passed him and ran into the bathroom.  
  
I splashed my face with water; I hated living what seemed like three lives, the life of a thief, the life of emotionless person, and the life of the lover. They where all so different from each other, but only one of them did I show openly.  
  
I sighed and sat down on the bathroom floor, I must be the most messed up titan. They are also so happy, well robin can go to the extreme with his Slade obsession but he can still be cool and happy other times, he could still be the leader.  
  
I was just about to rise from the floor when something caught my eye; in the corner by the toilet was a small bloody razor, it looked as if some one had taken it from a box cutter, strange why would it have blood on it. I also smelled the faint smell of throw up, is scrunched my nose up and rose form the floor, this was all odd, but then the throw up could be just from someone being sick, and maybe some accidentally cut themselves, yes that must be it. But I still kept the razor just incase  
  
I walked over to the medicine cabinet where I kept my toothbrush; I opened it and noticed a new item that proved to me I was not the only titan with problems. There stood a small clear orange bottle, the same used for prescriptions, and upon further inspection I found one word: Zoloft.  
  
A/N: I know it was short but I could not continue without dragging it on. Raven is a kleptomaniac, Robin a cutter, Star is anorexic, Beast boy is the owner of the Zoloft ( I know you have to be 18 to take it but give me a break) and cyborg is just there for now. My my what have I done.Anyways so the next chapter will be Robin then star it shall be in the same order unless I have a great idea and need to put it out, I actually have Robins chapter thought but I still have to put on the finishing touches but expect an update before the new year! 


	6. File One: Robin

A/N: No I am not dead, just school writers block and all that stuff go in the way, but no worries I shall try to update more often! Really I will! Oh yes and thanks to Echo195 for helping me out  
  
Dirty Little Secrets  
  
File One: Robin  
  
This time I had gone too far, I had cut too deep, too many. Crimson rivers rapidly flowed from open cuts on my pale wrist. I stood there in the white tiled bathroom just staring at the cuts, my mind working at what I should do.  
  
I could go for help, but going for help would require me to explain how I got the cuts and that would mean my secret would be revealed. I couldn't let that happen. I was their leader someone they could look to for help, if they knew I did this to myself, I would lose all respect...  
  
I started to feel light headed, I knew this was no time to think about the consequences of my actions I just need to do something now or die. My eyes darted around the bathroom...towels! I quickly grabbed one off the sink's counter and pressed it against the cuts, praying the bleeding would stop, but it didn't instead the towel was stained red. Mocking me, only reminding me of my helpless situation.  
  
I sank down to the floor, my legs already growing weak...its was getting harder to think. I looked around hopelessly for anything that could help, any glimmer of hope-  
  
"Hello" there was knock at the door, I recognized the voice right away, it was Raven, no she couldn't come in. I tried to raise my voice but it was useless. Pleas let the door be locked, she couldn't find out. The door opened. Raven stepped in, took one look at me, blood still coming from the wound and gasped, a mirror above temporally glowing black then shattering, showering me in glittering pieces of sharp glass that bit into my skin.  
  
"Robin! What happened here?" She ran over to me taking my wrist into her hand, running a finger over the cuts "Robin you didn't, do this to yourself...did you?" She looked into my eyes, even though her face was still devoid of emotion her eyes were filled with disbelief, they ripped into my soul like the blade had ripped my skin, they were the last things I saw before the darkness took me.  
  
***  
  
When I awoke again, I was surrounded by white, I vaguely wondered if I was  
  
in heaven, but then I herd the familiar monotonous beep of a heart monitor,  
  
I immediately knew where I was, a hospital.  
  
I tried to lift my self up. But I was still too weak, my head spinning whenever I moved it. So I went back to lying down, my head buzzing with thoughts of what everyone thought of me, they probably hated me. I failed them! Leaders weren't supposed to have psychological problems, they were supposed to be sane.  
  
I let out a sigh, I knew what was going to happen now, I was going to be shipped off to some mental hospital, where they would try and "cure" me. But what if they couldn't cure me and, I was locked there forever what if I got even worse then I already am! No, now I was just being, crazy, I'll get better. I just have to.  
  
I saw a clicker by the side of my bed and picked up, I needed some T.V to get my mind off of things.  
  
"Today one of the teen titans, Robin was rushed to the hospital. We do not have all the information on why he was taken to the hospital but there have been rumors of attempted suicide. We will have more on this story at seven." I stared at the screen with horror, not only did my friends know but now the whole city! And I was not trying to kill myself, but what would it matter, it wouldn't change the fact that everyone knew now, and now everyone hated me.  
  
"Robin?" I looked up but I didn't need too, I already knew who was speaking, Starfire. "Oh Robin, you have awakened! I have been filled with worry!" She ran over to me, taking my hand in hers "Robin, why have you done this?" Her eyes were so innocent, so trustworthy, but I could tell there was hurt in there I had hurt her and I could not bring myself to face her, instead I just looked staring at the sheets, as if they held the answer to all my questions "Please talk to me Robin!" she sounded so hurt, I can't believe I was doing this to her.  
  
"Excuse me miss, could you please leave me and the patient alone for few minutes." I heard an unrecognizable from the doorway voice from I struggled to get up so I could see whom it was but I was just too weak to get up. I felt Starfire let go of my hand and leave. "Hello Robin, my name is Doctor Helquist, I shall be taking you to Lucky Springs Mental Hospital." I cringed slightly at her words; I didn't want to be locked up.  
  
"When are you taking me." My voice was foreign to me, so quiet and unsure.  
  
"As soon as the hospital clears you to go, that should only be a few days from now." I looked up at the doctor, she looked strict and I had a feeling that I wouldn't like her. "Now be sure to rest up I would prefer to get you there as soon as possible."  
  
***  
  
One week passed before I was let out of the hospital and I found myself in the car that was taking me to my new place of residence, and to be truthful I was pretty scared, I mean from now on my life is going to be in someone else's hands, I was no longer in control. But then again I never was.  
  
The car pulled up in front of a very official looking building, a sign in front had Lucky Springs Mental Hospital spelled out in bold black letters. The building was surrounded by high metal fences the top coils of the sharp metal wire that they used when they wanted to keep people in, god I felt like I was going to prison.  
  
"Well Robin, this Lucky Springs Mental Hospital, or as most of us like to call it, Lucky Springs, now I am just going to call some attendees to show you around, and to go through all the necessary procedures." I was barely listening to what Doctor Helquist was saying, I was too busy looking at the hospital wondering if there was any way out. But as all saw the two attendees walk out of the hospital each dressed in white, I knew I wouldn't be free any time soon.  
  
A/N: Eeehhh I think I tried to hard to make it long, I don't really like this one. Oh yes if you want to see progress on stories and such go that's my writing journal. 


	7. File Two: Starfire

A/N: I am not dead just really busy. I am very sorry for the lack of updates but because school is ending soon I think I will be able to find more time to update...or not who knows but I hope that you can tolerate me and my lack of updates...oh yes this chapter has not yet been betaed but it will...and then I will repost it.  
  
Dirty Little Secrets  
  
File two: Starfire  
  
A low sigh escaped my lips, my eyes focused on the slowly setting sun; my mind was a jumble of thoughts. I lowered my body so that I sat down on the cold concrete surface of the titans tower roof; I was trying to lose myself in this sunset trying to let all these painful memories. The sunset however did not help me, there was just too much red, too much red.  
  
I pulled my eyes from the sun, and looked towards the door, the door that would lead me back to the titans tower. A door that would bring me back to reality. I hated spending time down there; everyone was...depressed I think the word is. I everyone would move in slow motion. Beast boy has been locking himself in his room, claiming that he needed time to think about things. Cyborg has almost completely disappeared from the team, the last time we saw him was last week when we had a mission, after that he disappeared again. Raven however seemed to have taken the role of our leader, she seems to be the only one to be strengthened by all this...I myself have also separated myself from the others staying outside in a garden that I have come to build.  
  
I slowly opened the door and descended down the stairs. I turned the corner at the end of the stair well and too k a few steps and stopped. There in front of me stood a door, a door that has not been opened in a month's time. It was the door to Robin's room. I leaned against it and closed my eyes...I should have been able to help him.  
  
If I truly loved him then I would have noticed what was going on with him. But I did not and so I failed him. This ripped me up inside...but I deserved these feelings...I deserved this guilt.  
  
"Starfire are you all right" I was pulled away from my toughs and looked up to see raven standing beside me.  
  
"Yes Raven I am fine.... when can we visit Robin, it has been a full month since we last saw him." I looked into Raven's eyes; she seemed to be so wise.  
  
"I'll call the hospital, I am sure that we will be able to see him very soon Star." She walked past me, and soon I was alone again, it was very tempting to call her back.  
  
A panicked feeling came over, I was very familiar with this feeling, and I knew there was only one way to get ride of it...to eat.  
  
I ran down to the kitchen and looked around, it was empty. I ripped open the cabinets any place I could find food. Once I did I would stuff it in my moth. It did not matter what the food was, just as long as it was in me... it got ride of that panic, it let me forgot for just one minute what was wrong...but I knew once this was over I would have to get ride of this food or the panic would come back.  
  
Quickly I ran to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me. I need to get rid of the food...quickly! I stood over the sink and put my finger to the back of my mouth forcing my self to be rid of the food...then when it was all done, I was okay. I slowly I cleaned myself up and then exited the bathroom, I was good at keeping this secret.  
  
[X][X][X]  
  
The next day we had training, and then finally we would be able to go and visit Robin. I really couldn't wait, but training kept on getting harder every day. No matter what I did I would always grow tired very quickly and also I would become very dizzy. So I would always have to sit out and return to training later. But I will not grow weak today! I will not rest until I am done, then I can see him, then I can tell him that I love him. But I was already growing weak, and my limbs grew heavy, I closed my eyes and though of robin and then pushed my self on. I just had to do a few more things then I would be free just a few more things then I will be able to see robin....  
  
The world started to spin, I couldn't stand up, no I can't.... Robin I'm sorry  
  
I was in a room, a white room. I was lying in bed white sheets around me and strange tubes connected to back were attached to me. I did not like this place, nor did I know how I got here. Slowly I propped my self up, but I was met by a wave of dizziness.  
  
"Excuse me Miss I wouldn't do that, you should lay down" I looked to the left of me and saw a kind looking man dressed in a white coat he was holding a clip board and looking at me.  
  
"I have no time to rest! I am supposed to visit Robin...where am I" my mind was very jumbled.  
  
"You are in the hospital, and you will not be visiting your friend any time soon. I have done some test on you, and I have found that you are suffering with symptoms of Bulimia, do you know what that is?" the man looked at me now his eyes focused on mine.  
  
"No, I do not know what this is but-"the man held up his hand.  
  
"Bulimia is an eating disorder where one will purge and binge, or eat a lot of food at once and then go to get ride of it either by throwing up using laxatives or some other way. This is a very serious disease and I think you should be put into a hospital. Now I know this idea may seem unappealing but there is a nice place close to here, lucky springs its called..." I did not need to here any more of the man's words. That is where Robin is, and if he is there then I will go, I will go wherever robin is.  
  
[X][X][X]  
  
In a few days I found myself in the halls of lucky springs getting shown around by a nurse, it was not a very nice place, this lucky springs. Everything was white or this ugly blue. The halls smelled funny and they locked the bathroom. I also have seen no sign of robin.  
  
"Now you'll eat your meals with all the other patients you can sit with whoever you like, in fact lunch is being served now! You don't have to eat on your first day but, soon a nutritionist will have a look at you and you will have to eat whatever meal they plan for you." She lead me to the eating room and I looked at the people there, please let robin be here. Then I saw him sitting at a table in the far right.  
  
"May I sit over there please, I know that boy." I looked at the woman hoping she would say yes.  
  
"Of course you can, ill take you over there." Slowly she led me to the table, Robin was looking at his food and did not look up when I came.  
  
"Hello Robin...I have missed you." Slowly his face turned up to mine, and he gasped.  
  
"S-Star why are you here!" his eyes were wide and he looked to the nurse.  
  
"Oh Dick, she is a new patient her, she just informed me you two know each other well I leave here hear and pick her up at lunches end." With that the woman left  
  
I slowly sat across from robin. Smiling I was so happy I was with him! I am sure he is happy I am here to.  
  
"Star what the hell are you doing here" My smile disappeared, Robin was not happy I was here no he was mad.  
  
A/N: Eck I didn't like how this turned out way to rushed...Ah well I wanted to get this out. Well I shall get to work on the next chapter: Beast Boy! 


	8. File Three: Beast Boy

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> **Well sorry for the long wait, school has been evil. Enjoy the chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans**  
  
Dirty Little Secrets  
  
File Three: Beast Boy  
  
We were all shocked to find out what was going on with Starfire, out of all of us she seemed the one who would never have any of these kind of problems.  
  
I sighed and slowly made my way out of my room. I was spending a lot of time in here lately and it was just easier to shut myself out from reality. When I'm alone in here I can pretend that everything is okay; I can pretend that if I were to leave my room Robin and Star would be standing there, and everything would be okay. But I can only spend so much time in this room; I had to take care of my physical needs.  
  
I slowly walked out of my room and looked at the doors around me. Three of these doors had gone silent; two of their owners went to that hospital; one just vanished.  
  
I leaned against me door and closed my eyes. I wished Cy would come back. Maybe if he were here things wouldn't be so bad, at least it wouldn't be so quiet around here. He would be able to bring the life back to this place. I missed him a lot, I missed all of them. I looked down the hall to another silent door, except this one would come to life every so often, and then she would come out. I wonder if she's in there, meditating or reading a book or something. Maybe I could knock on her door and get her to come out, maybe we could go out to get a pizza. It would be nice to have some company. I took a deep breath and walked down the hall.  
  
I turned so that I was facing her door; I raised my hand and was just about to knock when I noticed a yellow post. It was attached to the door, there was something scribbled on it.  
  
_Beast Boy,  
  
I have gone out for food and supplies, I should be back in a few hours.  
  
-Raven_  
  
I sighed and walked away from the door. Why didn't she ask me to come with her? Why did she have to leave me alone in here?  
  
The silence began to get to me so I walked out to the main room of the Titan's Tower and plopped down on the couch. I grabbed the T.V controller and switched on the T.V. Maybe time will pass by faster if I just stare at the screen mindlessly.  
  
I channeled surfed for a while and stopped on a news channel, a sinking feeling formed in my stomach. Ever since they found out what was going on with Robin and Star news stations have been attacking us saying we were unfit for fighting crime and they can't see why the authorities trusted us in the first place. It made me sick, they shouldn't put this stuff in the news! We've saved this town so many times and they repay us by posting our secrets to the masses. I quickly shut off the T.V, throwing the controller across the room.  
  
Why did everything have to start falling apart! When I joined the Titans sure I felt insecure, but I also felt safe. I thought that I had finally found a place where I would never have to see the death of someone close to me, yet I almost did! Both of them could of died, and somehow I feel guilty.  
  
I can't help feeling that I carry a curse that as long as I am around other people they will some how get hurt. I couldn't help feeling that if I never joined the Titans then Cyborg, Raven, Robin and Star would be in this room having a good time. I couldn't help thinking that the world would be better if I was never born.  
  
To disappear from this earth doesn't seem like such a bad idea right now, it's actually pretty appealing. To disappear would mean that I would just go into nothingness and I would no longer feel this constant pain. I would be free. Sure I would miss all the "good" parts of life, but if the bad parts out number the good is life really worth living? No, I don't think so.  
  
I got up off of the couch, suicide!, this was the only chance I have. No one's home I wouldn't have to worry about being found until...until it was to late. I doubt I would be too missed. No, I wouldn't missed. Yes, they will be fine without me. No one needed me. Yes, it was time I needed to go now.  
  
There where things I needed to do first, I need paper, I need to let Raven know I love her. I want her to know everything. Then I'll go.  
  
I ran to my room and looked on my desk for a clean piece of paper and something to write with. I settled with a half used piece of paper and then grabbed pencil. I paused for a moment; I needed to write from my heart.  
  
_ Dear Raven,  
  
I'm sorry for being so much trouble. I am sorry for being so annoying. But you must understand, I was so afraid how you would react if you found out how I really felt inside. I felt so insecure around all of you, especially you, Raven. Your so powerful, calm...but most of all your beautiful. Every time I'm near you my heart starts to pound and my palms sweat. I wanted so badly to kiss you to hold you in my arms. But you are unreachable to me, I am in no way worthy of your love.... I am even unworthy to keep on living on this earth, but I need to say goodbye I need to say things in this letter that I could never say to you in person. Good bye Raven, I love you. I'm sorry.  
  
-Beast Boy  
_  
I folded up the piece of paper and took it with me, the final room I would be seeing would be the bathroom it was there I would take my life.  
  
I slowly entered the room, there was still a little blood in the cracks of the tile, a reminder of what has already happened in this bathroom. I looked at the mirror before me and pulled it open, looking quickly at its contents and grabbing what I needed. It was a small bottle containing one hundred tablets of some kind of sleeping pill, it was brand new and unopened, I knew that this would be enough. I placed the note on the table counter and quickly opened the bottle. I just need to swallow these and then I could go.  
  
I swallowed down twenty and then stopped...suddenly I wasn't so sure I wanted to die. Suddenly I wanted to live, I wanted to tell Raven I loved her. I gripped onto the marble counter, my legs where already heavy. I tried to keep myself standing but I feel to the ground I whimper escaping my lips. I didn't want to die anymore! I wanted to live! But my world was already growing dark.  
  
[X][X][X]  
  
"Beast Boy?" I started to open my eyes, lighting momentarily blinding me. Someone was leaning above me.  
  
"Where-" , but some how I already knew where I was, the hospital.... I didn't die.  
  
"Oh thank God your okay! I thought you would never wake up." I was looking into the face of the last person I wanted to see right now, Raven.  
  
"Raven... I'm so sorry." My voice was no more than a croak.  
  
"Shhhh there's no need for you to be sorry ,Beast Boy, just rest for now. You'll have to leave soon." My eyes began to close again, and Ravens face slowly faded away.  
  
[X][X][X]  
  
Raven wasn't lying when she said I would be leaving the hospital soon. Once I was well enough to get out of bed I was shipped off to Lucky Springs. I didn't think it would be so bad, after all I had friends here. Well I was wrong. From the moment Robin found out I was here he wouldn't speak to me or to Star. Star told me he hadn't spoken since she first came here; neither of us could really understand why.  
  
On my first day here I got a room and a roommate, both of which weren't very nice. The room was small and really only had enough room for two metal frame twin sized beds, each had their own night stand. There where two different dressers where we kept our clothes. The floor was a white tile, the walls where also white...everything was white. There was only one window in the room, and this one was barred, not to homey.  
  
My roommate was here for rehab, apparently they where doing drugs and so their parents sent him here. He claimed he had no problem with drugs that he could have quite if he wanted to. He said the only reason he stayed in this place was to be away from his parents. At least he was lucky enough to still have his.  
  
I had a feeling I wasn't going to like it here...  
  
**Well, here you go Beast Boys chapter. Sorry if its crappy but right now its about one in the morning and I can't feel my fingers anymore... I might not be able to update again for a while because it's the end of the year and I have a lot of stuff to do for school.**


	9. File Four: Cyborg

> _Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Teen Titans._  
  
Dirty Little Secrets  
  
File Four: Cyborg  
  
I sat alone in the small apartment room and sighed. What the hell was I doing here? Why was I living in this small rat infested apartment in this large rat infested cit when I could be living in the Titans Tower in Jump City. Yeah I should be at the titans tower, I should be there with whoever was left, but I doubt I will ever be going back there.  
  
I mean its not like there is anyone back there waiting for me. I have learned from my last visit with Robin that Star and Beast Boy have been put into that crazy house, so that left Raven. Not that I don't like her, I do. But I just really didn't want to go back to the tower, it would only remind me how messed up things are.  
  
I had changed a lot since I left the Titans Tower anyways. When I first left I tried to work on doing the whole save the world thing by myself but it didn't work out. So then I started to hang... with the wrong crowd. The kind of people I used to bust. But now I was one of them.  
  
One of my new acquaintances had introduced me to a new drug, a really new drug. At first I said no, why ruin my life for a little high. But then the idea became more appetizing. He said it could make me forget everything that troubled me, and that was something I needed to do badly. So I finally gave in, and he gave me a sample.  
  
Now I wasn't sure how this was going to work for me, after all over half my body was made of metal, but he said that didn't matter. Well however it worked I love it! It really did make me forget everything that had been going on in my life. It let me fade into a world where there was nothing to worry about. For about and hour I would be in heaven. Of course then I would come crashing down to earth and everything would come rushing back to me, there was always a need for more.  
  
I knew the stuff was addicting, that was easy to tell but other than that I didn't find any bad side effects. So I continued use.  
  
I think I'll take a drive to Lucky Springs I wouldn't mind having some visiting time with the others.  
  
I got up and exited the room and quickly walked down the five flights of stairs that brought me to the main hall of the building. I then walked from the front door and down the street to my car.  
  
I opened the car and quickly got it. I then started the car and quickly drove off. It was about an hour drive to Lucky Springs so I cranked up the music.  
  
Once at Lucky Springs I pulled into the visitors parking lot and got out of the car turning on the alarm out of habit. I then jogged up to the entrance and went through the glass double doors.  
  
"Hello Sir may I help you?" There was a woman sitting behind the front desk, her blond hair held up in a bun and she wore bright pink lipstick.  
  
"Yeah, I was wondering have visiting hours ended yet?" I had forgot to check what time the visiting hours lasted until.  
  
"Hmm, there's about thirty minutes left, I am sure we can squeeze in a visit with whoever you want to see." Her voice was extremely sweet, reminded me of cotton candy.  
  
"Yeah, I'm here to see Robin." The woman nodded and picked up a phone behind the counter and spoke into it.  
  
"An orderly will be here in a few minutes to take you to the visitors room. Just take a seat over there." I nodded my head and did as she was instructed  
  
I stood in the corner waiting, I hoped they would call me up soon, I had started not feeling too well. My head was hurting pretty bad, but if had been doing that often these days, probably just stress.  
  
"Okay Sir, you can go back. But first do you have anything sharp on you?" I jumped a little at the ladies voice.  
  
"No, I brought nothing." Why would I?  
  
I walked forward to were an orderly was waiting for me, it was a pretty big guy. He led me down a hall way stopping in front of a door, he paused to unlock it and let me go in.  
  
"He's right in there. I will come in when your time is up." I walked in and the guy closed the door.  
  
Robin was sitting on a chair in the center of the room, staring at the ground. He didn't look up at me, in fact he didn't even acknowledge my presence. I sat down across from him and took time to study him, he looked very different from the leader he once was.  
  
His hair fell limply around his face, hiding his eyes from me. He was dressed in a simple white t-shirt and some gray sweatpants, the shirt hung off his body it also shower his pale arms. It was his arms that always surprised me the most, those pinkish scares stood out on his pale skin... It was hard to look at but harder to look away.  
  
"Stop staring at them." I looked up to see that Robin was starting at me, his eyes narrowed.  
  
"Hey sorry. I didn't mean to... So how have things been going?"  
  
"Oh just wonderfully! I just love this place; I mean being locked up with a bunch of metal cases is something I have always wanted to do!" I almost laughed at his sarcasm but I knew that would only piss him off.  
  
"That bad huh?"  
  
"Yes! I mean you should see the guy I have to share my room with! He never talks and he just stares at me! I don't think he ever shuts those damned eyes! And the food here..." I couldn't pay attention to what Robin was saying the pain in my head was building. I closed my eyes hoping it would go away "Hey Cy you okay?"  
  
"Yeah I'm fine... my hurts that's all."  
  
"Are you sure? We could get a doctor in here, they have a lot of those."  
  
"No really I'm Fi-"I didn't get to finish my sentence, things were starting to go black, I let out a small moan.  
  
"Cy! I'll get a doctor!" I heard Robin's voice, but he was... so far away.  
  
_Next chapter shall be Raven, I will try to update soon. I am interested in finding a beta reader if anyone would like to be mine then please email me at sliveredgeshotmail.com_


	10. File Five: Raven

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_A/N: Sorry for taking such a long time to update but due to lazyness and lack of ideas, I found it impossible to write out a whole chapter for DLS. But I finally decided to sit down and update… this chapter will be later reposted after it was proof read._

_Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans._

**Dirty Little Secrets**

**File Five**: **Raven**

I sat in the waiting room of the hospital, desperately trying to control my emotions. It was getting harder to do so these days, what with everything that happening. I'm surprised how far I have gotten. But I don't know how much longer I can stay in control, I can feel it, somewhere inside I'm breaking.

"Excuse, er Miss. Raven." My head snapped up to look at middle aged man, mostly likely a doctor judging by the white coat he was wearing.

"Yes? Are you Cyborg's doctor?" I slowly got out of the uncomfortable chair I had been sitting in and strolled over to the man.

"Yes, my name is Dr. Lieberman. I just came here to tell you that he is awake now and seems to be okay, it seems there was traces of an unknown drug in his system. We aren't really sure what happened but-" I cut the doctor off, I had not time to listen to his rambling.

"You can give me the details later, right now I want to see my friend. Which room is he in?"

"Room 273, just go down the hall to the elevator, second floor and it will be to your right." I nodded and thanked him.

I slowly walked down the hall to elevator, the click of my heels the only noise to be heard. I reminded me of how home is now, silent. Without the noise of the others the Titans Tower seemed to be as much of a home as this hallway. Sighing I stood in front of the door of the elevator and pushed the up button.

It only took a few minutes for the elevator to arrive; I walked into it almost grateful for its boring elevator music. I pushed the button for the second floor and leaned back as it took me up. Within a few minutes the elevator stopped, and opened its doors to me.

Stepping out into another hallway, only this one was much fuller of life than the one before it. Nurses and doctors rushed down the hall, along with visitors and even a few patients. Turning right I looked at the doors, 271 and there it is 273.

I slowly pushed open the door to the room, poking my head in I saw Cyborg sitting on a chair in the far right corner of the room. I stepped in and his head jerked up and he looked at me.

"Hey" I whispered softly walking over to him, leaning on the wall beside him.

"Hey, I guess I've messed up pretty bad." He whispered shaking his head.

"Yeah, but we all have at one point or another none of us is perfect."

"But I'm a superhero, this is a mistake I'm not supposed to make. I should be out there fighting the people who sell this junk!" he sighs frustrated

"Don't be so hard on yourself Cy, look we have all been pretty stressed out because of what has been happening… Right now you just have to concentrate on getting over this, thing."

"Yeah… I guess, have you visited the others yet?

"No not yet… I was going to after see them after you."

We talked for a little while longer when the doctor came in saying that visiting hours were over and I had to leave. I walked out of the room sighing, I had lied to Cyborg. I never really intended to visit them; I hated that place they were being kept. It was so full of pain and suffering, but then they were my friends. I guess I could handle it for them.

Okay, so I will go visit them, I bet they were already getting better to…Yeah that's right… or at least I hope I am.

I decided it was not best to fly in the state I'm in so I called a cab from a pay phone at the hospital and waited on a street corner near the hospital. A knot of worry grew in my stomach, what if they weren't all right? What if something had happened? What- no, I have to clam down if I let my emotions get out of control who knows what I'll do.

The cab finally got there a few minutes later, and I got in. I hated using cabs they always smelled like smoke and they were always filthy, but it would have to do. I scooted to the other side of the cab and told the driver were to go.

The drive there was pretty long and the driver didn't talk much, so I decided to take the time to meditate. I didn't want to go to the hospital and explode when I got there, I don't think they would let me in again if that happened.

"Well were here, you owe thirty bucks" I gave the man the money and walked out of the cab.

I walked into the parking lot and paused to look around me, you would never think that this place was holding people who were suffering from some kind of mental illness. I mean the place was in the middle of nowhere, it was surrounded by rolling fields of green… it would have been pretty nice place. But then there was the building surrounded by a metal fence on all sides it looked like a prison and I am sure it felt like one too, well brace your self-Raven it is time for entry.

Sighing I walked across the parking lot and into the reception room. There was a lady at the desk, she was old here gray hair pulled into a tight bun the pulled at her skin, her eyes were a light blue. She wore from what I can see one of those white nurses dresses.

"Hello can I help you?" Her voice was soft and brittle, I liked it.

"Um yes my name is Raven and I was wondering if I could visit some of your patients here? Beast Boy, Robin and Starfire." I had walked up to I was right in front of her desk.

"Oh my! We had called the number given on their file, something has gone wrong!" I felt my heart stop, this isn't good.

"What happened?" I tried to calm myself, I tried to stay in control of my emotions… it was getting hard.

"I shouldn't be the one you should talk to let me, page their psychologist." She picked up a phone and dialed some numbers, she spoke hurriedly into the phone and I couldn't quite catch what she said. "If you just wait over their Dr. Helquist shall be with you soon."

I nodded my head not quite ready to speak; slowly I made my way over to the sitting area taking a random seat. I needed to stay calm, closing my eyes I slowly whispered the mantra that would keep me in control.

"Excuse me, are you Raven?" I looked up to see a woman, in her middle ages. Her hair was cut short and chopped close to her head, he brown eyes looked down behind thick rimmed glasses, she wore a black suite.

"Um yes, I assume you are Dr. Helquist?"

"Yes I am, now if you please come with me I could explain what is wrong with your friend." I nodded my head and got up out of the chair.

I followed her down a hallway, we made a right turn at the end and we turned right, we only walked a little further when she stopped in front of a brown wooden door, a golden name plate, that said Dr. Helquist in cursive. She pulled out some keys from a pocket in her suite and opened the door.

"Well come on in" She held the door open and we walked in together.

It was one of those typical offices you think of when someone says psychologist. It had different diplomas covering the wall; a big oak deck too up the center of the room, there was one of those chairs that could lie on… very cliché

"So what happened?" I wanted to get to the point.

"Okay… It happened late last night, it seems one of our patients, who was suffering from a eating disorder had gotten a hold of some diuretics, well it seems that your friend Starfire asked what they where… and the girl gave her some, half the bottle to be exact. Not knowing what they were, she took them all and suffered a heart attack, she died not to soon after."

I stood frozen… Starfire was dead, she had died this wasn't supposed to happen! They were supposed to be safe!

"How could you let this happen? You were supposed to keep them safe! HOW COULD YOU LET HER DIE!" I couldn't keep in control any more, I had lost it.

I could hear things cracking around me, glass-shattering books lifted off the shelf. Someone was screaming, was it me? No it was her the doctor it was all her fault! She was supposed to help her, why didn't she! The screams were getting louder… someone came in, a pain in my arm. What's going on? Things where going blank.

"Raven? Can you hear me?" I moaned and opened my eyes, Dr. Helquist was standing over me her arm in a cast.

I nodded my head, everything was still fuzzy I couldn't remember what happened. "Where am I?"

"Your in the hospital wing of Lucky Springs, you had some kind of break down. Some of the attendees had to put you to sleep… how are you feeling now?"

"Fine." Things were slowly coming back to me and I wish they didn't "do the others know?"

"I have not found the time to tell them, I need to find the right time and way to tell them or it could create some problems to tell them… but until I do I think it would be best if you were not to visit them. We don't want anyone to be hurt."

I sighed, she was right. I could hurt one of them if I visited them in the state I was… I should go home and meditate I should relax…

"Yes of course, I'll come back another time."

They released me a while later, just to make sure everything was all right… damn, I really messed up this time.

_A/N: Well sorry to any Starfire fans for killing her off… anyways next chapter is Robin's_


	11. Record One: Robin

_A/N: You have to thank the constant pestering of my friends for this update… sorry for the delay, see you in next chapter. Oh yes and thank you everyone for your reviews!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans._

**Dirty Little Secrets **

**Record One: Robin**

I laid back on the this mattress that they provided here, I hated this place. Everything in this place was white; the sheets the curtains, the walls, even the floors were white. It was awful. But I was stuck here.... Until I was better.

I pushed myself halfway up and took one look around my "room" there where no windows, well except for the one that was built into the door so I could be easily checked on. The walls and everything else was as I said white. Really the only few not white things in this room was the black metal frame of the bed, then there was the clothes they made me wear which wear great and very much resembled the sweats I wore when I used to work out (they didn't let me do that here), and lastly there was the small cabinet I hade for personal things this was painted a fading blue.

I liked the cabinet, pushed against the wall opposite of my bed it stood out and almost seemed to go against everything this hospital was made of. It was falling apart the paint chipped and faded in many places. It was made of wood, real wood, nothing was ever real, nothing not the planets or those smiles the nurses always gave you. I loved that cabinet so much.

Sighing I closed my eyes, I wasn't allowed out of my room with out an escort, so I decided it would be a good time to take a... My eyes shot open, the door was opening. I slowly lifted my body and watched as a nurse entered my room.

"Oh! I didn't expect you to be up... I came here to wake you up and, take you to your therapy session." I looked at her confused it was defiantly to early for me to be going to therapy. I think she sensed what I had been thinking. "they decided to change your time."

I nodded my head and slowly fallowed the nurse out of my room and down a bunch of hallways. I had to admit I was a little nervous; they never really change schedules these days. They like to keep things the same around here, I never really knew why.

We both stopped in front of room two seventy three, Dr. Helquist's office. The nurse opened the door for me and held it open so that I could walk in.

"Ah Robin, you're here." Dr. Helquist said getting up from her desk and walking over to me, and dismissing the nurse. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, I guess." Dr. Helquist pulled me over to one of the chairs by her desk and had me sit down.

"Good, that's good to hear." I noticed her bite her lip as he she looked down at me; she looked different, sad almost.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, its never a good thing when you psychiatrist is looking at you like this.

"Robin, I have something to tell you." Instead of taking her usual seat behind the desk she knelled beside me and took my hand in hers, her eyes looking into my own. "Its about Starfire."

I immediately felt my heart skip a beat, this couldn't be anything good. They don't make you came to therapy early if it's a good thing. "Is something wrong with her?" I tried to control my voice, it still shook a little.

"Yes, I'm afraid so Robin. You see, it seems that she had some how gotten a hold of some dietary pills... she took at least half a bottle of pills." She shifted her body a bit, her hand tightening around mine. "She suffered a massive heart attack, the doctors tried every thing they could, but some things cannot be helped..."

I looked her, my eyes widening slightly, I did not want to hear what she was going to say next... but I knew I had to, but even though I know what she was going to say I still found myself asking "Is she alright?"

"No Robin, I'm sorry. Starfire, is dead." I gasped when she said those words; it was more painful hearing it said aloud.

You never really realize how much you love someone until, you can no longer tell them. It's only after they're gone do the things you love about them come rushing back into your head, like her smile and her laugh. It was of course the same for Starfire, but I tried to push these things out of my mind.

"Can I go to my room?" My voice was shaking terribly but then I wasn't putting in any effort to stop it.

"robin I would think it best if we talked about it..." Dr. Helquist suggested but I quickly shot down the idea.

"No, I want to go to my room." I attempted to stand up but the doctor kept a firm grip on my arm.

"Robin please you're in no condition to be on your own right now, I would think it best if you stayed here and talked to me."

"I don't care what you think! I don't want to talk about anything, I just want to go back to my room!" my voice was getting louder with each word, and the room seemed to get smaller.

"Robin please calm down, I understand that your upset, which is why I cannot let you go to your room. You have an unhealthy way of trying to control your feelings, and so it could be dangerous for you to be alone now. So you won't be getting out of here anytime soon, so I suggest you sit down, calm down and then perhaps we can talk. Do you understand?" Dr. Helquist used a stronger voice the normal nodding my head I reluctantly took a seat.

We talked for a while, I avoided every question she asked about Starfire and she eventually gave up. We talked about nothing really, which was a relief I had gotten tired of answering questions about my past or some other thing like that... but once we were done talking and she dismissed me to lunch, all the pain came back.

I took a seat by Beast Boy, not really bothering to answer him back when he said hey. I was to busy trying to keep myself under control, I was being to wish I had talked to Dr. Helquist about Star.

"Hey Robin anything wrong, you look kinda out of it." I looked up at BB and shrugged my shoulders, I think if I attempted to speak I wouldn't make it without breaking down.

BB went on to talk about some random subject, I didn't really pay attention nor did I care about what he was saying so I just looked pass him.

"Hey Rob, have you seen Star lately?" I looked up at him, all I wanted to do was shake my head and ignore what he just said, but I found it impossible to do so,

Instead I found my body start to shake, I opened my mouth to say something to BB, but a odd whimper came out. I guess I had started to worry BB because he asked what was wrong, and tried to touch me I quickly pushed him off. It was then everything went black.

_A/N: Well see you in the next chapter and keep those reviews coming, I love getting them!_


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